Saying Goodbye

Maria Luisa Isla

1956-2009

Losing a Family member will never seem right...it's hard to imagine a future without that person being there. It's hard to close your eyes, seeing the life of someone so easily, only to open them and realize you really won't see them again in this lifetime. It's hard to say goodbye to a loved one when all you want to do is bring them back.

Most of you know that George's mom, Maria, passed away during our visit to AZ. It has been gut-wrenching, sickening, completely heartbreaking, and disconcerting.

For those that didn't know her...Maria was a force, honey. She lit up a room when she walked into it. Everyone was attracted to her wit, her charm, her infectious laugh, and her "real"ness.


I always said that she was young at heart (she loved hearing that) and she never failed at proving me right. She was a loving mother and a doting grandmother all the days of her adult life. She never forgot a birthday nor did she let her grandkids lose sight of her relationship with them.




Her and I had developed a bond throughout the years that only we understood and I will cherish that forever. To share a recent part with you, she told me in one of our last conversations that she was proud to have me as her daughter. She said she loved me and that she knew I was taking care of her son and family where she had left off. These were the most loving words she had ever spoken to me. How do you say goodbye to someone that loves you like that?

My aching heart goes out to George for all this has done and will do to him. I weep inside knowing how much this is hurting him. I am constantly thinking of a way to take his pain away...even when I know there is no such magic potion. But I want one. I pray that the days get easier for him...that he can be at peace with his goodbye. It is so hard right now though. I pray for Alex and his family as they go through the motions ahead. Acceptance is nothing like letting go. Accepting means you understand, letting go is so much more involved than that. I crave for the boys to dig deep and find peace with it, however that is done for them. These two men have been such an inspiration during this whole tragedy. They have really come together as brothers in ways we have ALL wished for...especially Maria. She wanted nothing more than to have her boys close and their families closer. That is my goal for the reformed Isla Family. To make us closer. To be a Family despite the distance or the obstacles. She would want that.


I, for one, have wrestled with saying goodbye since the day we found out she was gone. I think we all have told her goodbye, but how do you truly let her go with peace of mind? I am still trying to figure that out. We all are. How do you show/help your kids to do the same? Praying has been helping me a lot. Throughout this ordeal, talking has been essential for us. Celebrating her life through stories and fond memories has been a key factor in the kids' grieving. I know in my mind that saying goodbye is part of this process called healing, but that is not a place I have truly visited yet. Being positive is few and far between with something this wrong and unreal...but my mind tells me we must try to see the light, as dim as it may be. This is the job I gladly accept for my Family, to help the light grow brighter.

What I do know is...I am thankful for the trip to AZ and the time we had with her while we were there this Christmas. I am thankful George took a picture with her on Christmas day (one of the few together in his adult life).


I am thankful she spent time with my kids individually her last two weeks here on Earth. I am thankful we shared a beer on the back porch, just her and I, the night before she was taken from us. I am thankful I got to spend more time with Alex, Rhea, Joaquin, and Camille as a result of this. I am thankful for not only seeing them, but the rally of support the extended family members had to share.


Lastly, I am so very thankful for every minute I have left with the people I love.

Like George said in his eulogy, don't take for granted the next time you talk to or see the people you care about. Call them. Tell them you love them. Kiss them. Smile at them. Check up on them. Be nice to them. It is important. At the end of the day...it's all we have left to give.


Thank you to all the ones who have reached out to us. Thank you for lighting up the room with your beautiful flowers and baskets. Thank you for making a donation in honor of Maria. Thank you for the emails and words of encouragement. Thank you for offering your ears and your help.

I wanna share everything I can about her life, who she was, and what she meant to people. Here are a few links in case you want to see what the boys put together and what our lovely Mom/G-Ma was all about :o)

Funeral Chapel Obituary
http://www.heritagefuneralchapels.com/content/obituaries/view.jsp?OID=54491

AZ Republic Obituary
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/azcentral/obituary.aspx?n=maria-luisa-isla&pid=138118540

Photo Slideshow

A Celebration of Life

Funeral Service
Event Webcast Information:
Maria Isla
HERITAGE FUNERAL CHAPELS
Please click on the link below to view the broadcast.
http://www.eventbywire.com/viewevent/?id=808-264
Event ID: 808-264
Password: azheritage1
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A good friend recently told us..."time is definitely your friend now". He couldn't be more right. I will miss Maria in every day that goes forward. I know she is going to look after us and watch her grandchildren grow as time goes on. An angel always does. And she wouldn't have it any other way...

Love ya and thanks again for keeping us in your prayers,

Making my own Circle of Angels

I posted my Wednesday without Words with a picture of one my Angels I have around the house. Last week, while I was staying at the Perez house, I got a call from Geo saying my angel shelf in the stairwell had fallen and all my angels had broken...except for my Hope Bear (because it is stuffed). I almost cried. I have been collecting angels for about 12 years and my favorite ones were the ones that made it to the shelf. The shelf I bought at Ikea in Germany and was a heavy, sturdy, classic piece that could fit in every room. The shelf is in tact of course...but its tenants are gone. I should have seen the sign in this happening...a bad omen if you will. A sign that my husband needs to stop telling me we have orders...unless I am holding them IN MY HAND!!

Yes, I am just sick about it...I know he means well and WANTS to give the good news we so desperately have been waiting for....but CRAP, I don't think I can handle one more peak or damn valley! He got an email from the main personnel division saying we are all set and so that snowballed into him telling me from the other room "We have orders"!!! I tried to disprove him right away because it seemed too good to be true and my hope meter has been bobbing on 'hopeless' the past weeks...but he assured me that it was the message we had been waiting on. The next day he was sadly told that message was automatically generated and the orders were still waiting on Germany's reply about JD.

*Crush*

So the wait is still not over ...at this point I have raised my arms to Jesus, the Angels and surrendered. I give up! There MUST be a reason for all this stress and last minute planning ahead of us. I will let you know when I figure that part out. I think my husband feels bad about leading me astray...but he's too proud and disappointed himself to say that I think. So we are trying to pretend like it's not happening so we can refrain from going MAD! That's the latest and it sucks...

So you can see now why the angels' demise was a little more devastating than just a 'shelf falling and breaking'. Hence the clay angel post on Wednesday.

I decided to make a new circle of Angels...and started last night making my first Kokeshi Doll with some of my friends here. It was fun and helped occupy my mind a great deal. Here's a little history on The Kokeshi...they are handmade wooden dolls originally from northern Japan and used as souvenirs for visitors. They have been used to represent a healthy child, ward off evil, prevent fire, or used as simple massage tools. So, we had a great girl teaching the mini class to us and I got my creative juices flowing...

Here's how it started...


And the whole gang...I mean GANG exactly how you think. We ride deep yo!!


My final product...I think I will call her "Round Eye Angel".

I love the way her face and hair came out. Her obi, which is on her back (made of purple and red crepe paper and ribbon), has been officially changed to wings! My new angel will look good on the updated shelf in Germany.

Speaking of angels ....I have to give a shout out/bon voyage to one of my good friends here...Angel!

She is a joy and sassy...just how I like them! Thanks for being always keepin' it real...there's not many of us left :o)

Oh, I also wanted to mention that my very own angel, Saige, has been quite the little fashionista lately. Her and her friends have been upgrading their t-shirts with new designs. I bought her this book a while back that has 101 ways to reform your t-shirts. They got really into it and her first creation was not too shabby. I love where she cropped the middle. I went in her room and found SEVERAL of her clothes in a pile to "fix". I need to go through that I think...knowing her she is about to cut up one of the new ones she just 'had to have' in the store. "Expression is good, expression is unique"....that's my new chant!!



Hark...I think I hear an angel coming to save me!! Please hurry! Until next time...

Wednesday without Words